With sadness, I post here about the loss of Phillihp Harmon, the first of our three children. He was given to us in our early 20’s. We could not imagine life without this wonderful person. Together, we embarked on an amazing journey. He gifted me three logo designs for Lamps-A-Glow, two of which are in use today. He lived intensely and joyously. His generosity and concern for others would make any parent proud.

Rest In Peace, my Son

-- Bernadette (click to send me a note)

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Yes, glory. Even on this day of necessary tears, glory to God in the highest. The glory of God is man and woman and child, fully alive, not just for this brief sojourn we have here in this beautiful earth that God created out of nothing but beginning now and going on forever and ever.

It is said that grace builds on nature. And it is my privilege to be here for this memorial Mass where we saw that enacted right before our eyes. Right in our presence, that word was fulfilled in the beautiful eulogy that we just heard. It was very easy to follow Megan's eulogy because she hit all the high points. She told us to not be discouraged by Phillihp's passing, because the twinkle in his eyes and the smile on his face and the way he always took care of everyone in his path, included them in friendship – that's what we are hearing fulfilled in these readings. Grace builds on nature.

The souls of the just are in the hand of God, period and full stop. No torment shall touch them. They seemed in the view of the foolish to be dead. That would be you and me. That would be all of us living in this social imaginary, which seems to be restricted to what I can see and what I can feel and what I can touch, and what can be materially measured by what we now call science. But that is what there is. One more word to put this in context.

Both the reading from the Book of Wisdom and the Gospel according to Matthew are parables. They are not listed as parables, you can’t find them if you could go and google, or whatever artificial intelligence there is, and don't go to AI. You could always tell a parable is a parable because your reaction is, in the first reading, “I'm not exactly sure what you're saying. But I am sure that I don't really like it.” I am sure that I don't really like hearing that those who are blessed are the poor in spirit, the ones who mourn, the ones who… the meek…, the ones... you know. It's OK when he says, blessed are the merciful, the clean of heart, the peacemakers. But he starts in a very counter-intuitive way and ends in a more challenging way. Blessed are you when they insult and persecute you and misunderstand you, utter every kind of evil against you because maybe you're not a card-carrying registered member of some Catholic parish somewhere. Blessed are you to be misunderstood because Jesus was completely misunderstood before you.

The promise is the second reading. This is the first time I have ever had this reading, this beautiful hymn to love from 1st Corinthians at a memorial Mass. And good thing too, because God created everything out of nothing. He created creation ex nihilo, in the Latin that I have forgotten, creation out of nothing. And we have this beautiful reading, the choice that is before us, which is eight times telling us what love is not. Eight times we understand what is nothing. We started with two things about what love is, love is patient, love is kind. Thank you, Phillihp for living it out. And then we have eight things that love is not, eight nothings that appear to be the way that jealousy, pompous inflation, rude, seeking one's own answers, quick temper, brooding over injuries, rejoicing over wrongdoing. OK, and then we finish with six things that love is. Love rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things. Love never fails.

We're here because of our faith in the fact that love, and everything was created out of nothing, everything was created out of love, that love never fails. We are asked to move beyond the view of the foolish. To whom? Eternal life. That is the reason why we are here. That is the reason why we are all dressed up. That is the reason why it is right and just and proper and necessary that we be here to mark Phillihp's life. That's because grace builds on nature and is pointing to the celebration on the other side. And so we pray…

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

-- Fr. Frederick Close

Fr. Frederick Close presides and preaches at St. Anthony of Padua Catholic Church in Washington DC.

Readings during the Memorial Mass:

• Wisdom 3:1-9
• 1 Corinthians 12:31—13:13
• Matthew 5:1-12a

Related Articles:

• Obituary - Phillihp Harmon
• Homily at Mass - Phillihp Harmon
• Eulogy - Phillihp Harmon

With sadness, I post here about the loss of Phillihp Harmon, the first of our three children. He was given to us in our early 20’s. We could not imagine life without this wonderful person. Together, we embarked on an amazing journey. He gifted me three logo designs for Lamps-A-Glow, two of which are in use today. He lived intensely and joyously. His generosity and concern for others would make any parent proud.

Rest In Peace, my Son

-- Bernadette (click to send me a note)

It is hard to encapsulate Phil in one sitting. He was so much to so many people. My husband, father of our girls, son, brother, a cousin, a grandson, a friend, a travel companion, a trusted colleague, a mentor, a support system and the biggest cheerleader. Most of all, he was the glue that connected so many of us and kept us together. He truly never met a stranger because he cared tremendously about putting people at ease so that he has a chance to get to genuinely know them. He would meet you where you were and never held judgment, just encouragement. He built these friendships, and we built our marriage, on shared values. He didn't care how you looked, what you did, where you came from, so long as you shared values with him.

Most important to him were loyalty and respect, intentionality, curiosity, kindness and positivity. Once he loved you, he loved you deeply and forever. He would often bring up friends for 20 or 30 years ago, as though we had just seen them last week. I remember him mentioning a childhood friend me a few years ago and when I was confused about who he meant, he said, “Please, come on, you know, the one who lived in Pittsburgh. We talked about him all the time." We were all always in the forefront of his mind.

If he set his mind to something, he accomplished it. He started his first business when he was 17 and was successfully self-employed for 20 years. He gave me, and I know he gave others, the courage to believe that anyone can be an entrepreneur if they set their mind to it. He held the teachings of Dave Ramsey as a financial bible and he worked hard to achieve, and succeeded in achieving, financial freedom for our family. He embodied the Ramsey quote,

“Live like no one else, so you can live and give like no one else.”

He intended to continue spreading the message of financial literacy and I hope we can all carry that forward for him.

He wanted to see the world, and he saw a lot of it. With friends, he traveled throughout the US, Europe, Asia and South America, and together we traveled to Europe, Central America and Africa. He was passionate about seeing life through other people's eyes, wherever that might be and however it might look. He always said a perfect trip would be planned around where he went for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and the rest would fall into place. I have always dreamed of going to Antarctica and Phil planned to make that happen for our ten year anniversary because it was important to him to help others fulfill their dreams too.

Phil was kind, always. He forgave easily, because he understood we were all flawed and he loved people because of their flaws, not in spite of them. Greg, his brother, shared with me that in college he could always find Phil, making sure to take care of whoever needed help. There were so many times that he would run out to do an errand and take forever coming home because there was someone at the 7-11 that needed to jump start or neighbor that was stuck because of a downed tree. And Phil always stopped to help them.

He always tried to look at tough situations with positivity. After a hard day, he would switch quickly into goofing around with our girls, letting them climb on his back and pretend to be monkeys, or pumping up some techno music and having a dance party. He didn't wallow in sadness or anger. And I hope that we can all lean on his example as we mourn him together. His contagious smile and the twinkle in his eyes will forever be woven into my heart, and I hope the same for all of you. Let us not be sad to have lost him, but forever grateful that we got to know him. He was the absolute best and he will live on in the impact he had on so, so many people.

I love you, Phil. And I thank you for bringing all of us together one more time..

-- Megan

Related Articles:

• Obituary - Phillihp Harmon
• Homily at Mass - Phillihp Harmon
• Eulogy - Phillihp Harmon